Occult Books
Jul 27, 2015
Here is the wireframe for the Occult Bookstore. I know what you're saying: "Whoa, that's a lot of books, how are you going to come up with names for all those books when the player scans their cursor across the screen?"
Funny you should ask that.
I'm a big fan of the Tom Sawyer school of game design. Why paint that fence if you can get all your friends to paint it for you, or in this case, name all those books.
There are close to 300 books in the book store. They are too small to be individually touchable, so 2 or 3 books will probably make up the hotspot, which should be fine. There is a puzzle involving finding a book, but the player won't be tasked with the monotony of scanning all the books to find the one they need. There will be an object that locates the book, and that is the real puzzle. All the books having funny names is to make the store fun to explore.
And this is where you come in... We need names for all those books. The rules are:
1) The name has to be less than 35 characters.
2) It should be a book you'd find in an occult bookstore.
3) Ignore #2 if it's really funny that the book is found in an occult bookstore.
4) The title can include a "by ..." if the total length is less than 35 characters.
5) Include a "by ..." only if it is part of the humor.
6) Pay attention to #2, we're not just looking for funny book titles, but ones that would be found in an occult bookstore.
7) #6 is really important.
Post your submissions in the comments.
- Ron
UPDATE
I'm closing the comments. There are well over 1000 comments and probably 2000+ useable book titles. What great fun! Thanks to everyone for contributing! There are some really funny titles that I LOL'd at. And if you know me, I don't use LOL very lightly. When I LOL, I really mean it. LOL.
The next step will be to copy all the book titles from the comments and drop them into a spreadsheet, remove the bad ones (sorry if I hurt your feelings) and wire them in. Given the number of books, Mark is going to have to adjust the room, probably by making it comically tall. The only skyscraper in Thimbleweed Park is the Occult Bookstore.
Love it.
Please don't leave book titles in the comments of other posts, I'll delete them. Don't screw with me!
LOL
Best. Backers. Ever.
Fishing for the All-Soul
All About Om
:(
Maybe if they just added a new interface for when you look at the books....
Eh. I guess I'm not witty enough to come up with something short and sweet.
How I Learned to stop Living and Love the Occult
Anubis Gates for Dummies
Cthulu and Me
How To Cook For Humans
How To Cook Forty Humans
How To Cook For Forty Humans
I'd go with "How to Concot A Perfect Root Beer - by Voodoo Lady"
But perhaps make it a book about cocktails:
" Tobin's Spirit Guide (bartending)"
Ghosts - 50 shades of grey
Omnipresence - By Chuck the Plant
A Guide to Insult Sword Fighting
Chron-O-John's and the Importance of Real Diamonds
Skipping the 3rd game - by Ron G.
7 Habits of Highly Effective Sorcerers
Rodents Quarterly: Extended Rats Edition
Witches be Crazy: A Survival Guide
Satan and You: Let the Dark Lord In
Are You There Satan? It's Me Guybrush
Cauldron Classics: A Cookbook for the Worst of Us
Sacrificing without Sacrifice
Gosh these are bad
Howto put the Do in VooDo
A guide to VooDo and VooDon't
Well, Rum in Spanish is Ron...
How to get a Head in Navigating
How to Craft 3-Headed Animals
Guide to the Alien Mind-benders
How to Make Navigators Portable
Spell-check for Spells
Concise Dictionary of Crystals
Advanced Golem Forging
Runes for Ruining Rooms
Slightly Dangerous Curses
100 Annoying Curses
100 More Annoying Curses
The 4th Eye: Are 3 Not Enough?
Are You My Elder God?
Llamas: The Ultimate Evil
:P
The Spells of Atheists
Joy of Maps - By Wally
Illuminating the Underworld, by L. Morningstar
A History of Accidental Vampire Killings by Ms. Stake
Love your Leftovers : 101 Goat Recipies
Hmm, 35 characters is a bit limiting. :/
Pentagrams and the Metric System
Chicken Soup for the Undying Soul
Miskatonic Occultism Journal Vol 4
So You Want to be a Cultist?
Real Men have Crystal Balls
I Love Lucid Dreaming
Cultist's Guide to Mêlée Island
Magic versus. Magick: Why the K?
Banishing Demons
Banishing Mothers-In-Law I
Banishing Mothers-In-Law II
Banishing Mothers-In-Law IV
Finding your Spirit Animal
Cooking your Spirit Animal
How to groom your Yeti
;-)
Do-it-yourself voodoo dolls
Witchcraft for dummies
from A to Wizard by H. Mugger
100 new uses for newt eyes
Eyecandy and other recipes
Dungeons & Flagons 2nd Ed.
Calling all Cthulhu
Twisty Passages
50 Shades of Octarine
Do You Voodoo? Now you do!
Do You Voodoo? Now you do too!
Spice & Thyme: Cooking Magic
Magic Snacks: The Nominomicon
Great Evocations
Slouching Towards Release
Frog and Toad are Ingredients
Eye of Newt, Hair of Dog
Mystic Pizza Recipes
The Dreamlands on $15 a Night
This one nearly made me spit my mouthful of midget gems over the losers on the train.
Best title so far by a country mile! Well done sir!
Levitation for Dummies
The Moon Landing Hoax Hoax
Goth Costumes 101
"Copyrighting spells in the digital era"
"42 Voodoo recipes to guide your ship"
"Emojis and ouija: updated guide"
"Playing to be God by: God™"
"A wizard's guide to fireproofness"
"Voodoo and digital pirates"
"Women and black magic: how to understand them"
"No brain required: social networking for Zombies"
"Satanic rituals: a 12-step guide to mindfulness"
"Unsullied: black magic and virginity in the 21st century"
Projectmanagement for Fun and Profit
Voodoo Dolls for Your Wedding
Love & Death: Potions & Concoctions
How to Resurrect Your Pet
'The art of delegation by Ron Gilbert'
The Kotraus of Dacksolzingaur
Dunwich: A Rambler's Guide
Weaponizing your Fears
Unburying the Bones: A Memoir
Grimoires and Gannets
A Child's Treasury of Spiders
Oculudum: Games with Eyes
or...
Sins of the Fathers by J. Jansen
Would be a fair homage :)
The Lost Pyramids of Belgium
JFK sold the Moon to Aliens!
The World is acutally in 3D
Polish Atlantis
How to Smell Color
Undead Kosher Rabbits
And here are some silly ones:
The Making of the Thimbleweed Park Adventure game
How to make Tentacles, by E. Edison
8-bit naval warfare by Commodore Sixtyfour
UFO's of the USSR!
Ancient Aliens of Greenland
How To Summon Water Spirits
A. Crowley's Cryptography
LaVey's Favorite Crosswords
Build a Lament Configuration
Impersonating Demons
Grimm's Not So Fairy Tales
Commune With Wiccans
Morning Incantations
Magic Spells from A to Z
Occult Materials And You
Ritual Sacrifice for Newbies
Learn Witchcraft in 24 hours
I had a bunch more but they were all 60+ characters (like: "Mountain Climbing Is Hard by Alestier Crowley') or ('Growing Awesome Facial Hair by Antoine Sandzor LaVey'), so I revised the list as above. Maybe one or two of them isn't too bad...
Timbleweed Park : The hint book
Secret opcodes of the SCUMMVM by Gil Ronbert
It's all midichlorians: Black Magic explained
Monkey Business: Get funded with bananas
DMCA: Author commented edition by Satan
You fight like a cow: How to escape from Milka
Advanced Voodoo for Javascript experts
Head of the Navigator, GPS upgrade guide.
You and Ewe:Bleeding Bleaters
Chocolate and the Occult
101 Things To Do in a Cellar
Sacrificial Chocolate
Don't Junk your Dragon
Selling Souls for Chocolate
Maintaining your Broom by RLP
Don't Djinn and Drive
I Dream of Genie
They made me do it by Bill G.
Mind control with cat videos
Black Magic
Grey Magic
Slightly Off-White magic
Blood removal & other household tips
Advanced voodoo doll dressmaking
Crystal Tips and Aleister
How to hex friends & hypnotise people
Gray’s Effigy in a churchyard
+ something with Ley Lines, but feeling uninspired.
Eat, Slay, Coven
The Very Hungry Shoggoth
Fresh Dirt: A Necromancy Primer
Necromnomicon: Occult Cooking 101
Entrails: The Definitive Guide
Giving Death A Second Chance
Cannibals Are People Too by L.H.
Saying Yes To Chtulhu
Baby's First Necronomicon
17 Spells For Body Odour
My Child Is Human: When To Panic
Lapis Philosophorum by W. Buffett
(or Fountain of Youth by D. Bowie)
Satanism in our time by D. Ville
Modern witchcraft
Exorcising for fun and profit
Baby's first grimoire
The illustrated Picatrix
Space, time and black cats
101 pagan party games
"Summoning Success"
"Trinkets, Traps and Trickery"
"Common Apparitions by B. Gohn"
"Everyday Rituals"
"1-2-3 Apocalypse"
Fifty Shades of Cthulhu
Lonely Planet: Transylvania
Ressurrecting Scumm by Ron & Gary
Broken Bones and Castes
Occult Drawing by The Gimp
Hexes for Ex's
Who do Voodoo? by U. Due
Get a Life! by Ima Dedd
How to properly encode an ß
Translate the German book title into English, pass the character limit and wait for the translator to solve the problem... :-)
Geheimnisvoll wirken durch Fremdsprachen = obscure appearances thru foreign languages
May be you can alternate his a bit like:
obscure behave with dead languages (still 35 characters :-( ),
obscoore thru straing spokeings (kind of word play to save the joke even in english)
As Steffen pointed out, you need some German to get the first one. And the second one is probably only funny when you've just spend a day trying to convince a web server on a Unix machine to write a file with those *** German characters in its name, and then get Zip to zip it in a zip file, and then the web server to present it for download, and utterly failed. Well, probably the only thing that is funny about that, after all those years, it's still a problem. Umlaute and ß are a pain in the ass, and they were even more so in 198x, so it might still be a worth a try. Maybe "The secret of the codepages, Volume 850".
Nice one.
"Thimbleweed Park catacombs"
"How to build your grave in 24 hrs"
"100 funeral jokes"
"Do ghosts go to the bathroom?"
by Wally B. Feed
by Wally B. Feed
Well, just leave out the "by" then... Although it loses quite a bit, I think ;)
666 Hilarious OUIJA Mistakes
The Joy of Hex
50 Shades of Dismay
Make a House From Candy!
The Secret of Skywalker Ranch
Voo-dude by G. Threepwood
Astrology For Punks & Jerks
The Omnomnomicon
Maniac Mansion Strategy Guide
The King in Yellow Go-Go Boots
All-seeing Eyes for Beginners
Summoners Digest
The Moon is Hollow
UFO Identification Guide
"Pentagram Postman: Enticing Love Letters"
"Eating Like a Queen in New Orleans" By Marie Laveau
"Bigfoots Baby: A True Love Story"
"My Daddy Drives a UFO"
"A Guide to Crystals and Skulls BUT NOT CRYSTAL SKULLS"
"You Are Looking For Page 57: A Guide to Divination" or "A Guide to Divination...But You Already Knew That"
"Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good: A Memoir" By R. Stantz
"So, You Want to Shrink Some Heads?"
"Deja Vu"
"Deja Vu Again"
"Deja Vu: Not a Copy"
"Deja Vu: There's a Whole Lot of Vu Going On Here"
"Deja Vu: The Re-Vuening"
"1967: How the World Will End" By P. Hill
"1968: How the World Will Really End" By P. Hill
"1969: How the World Will Really Really End" by P. Hill
"1970: Worlds End: Seriously, It's Coming" By P. Hill
Hex, Lies and Videotapes
50 Shrouds of Grey
The Thimbleweedonomicon
Mindfulness for zombies
Coming out of the casket
(and next to it)
Ghostbusters
Advanced Law by Genghis Khan
Attorney Reference Manual by Satan
I want to be a pirate by Pirate
Ghostpirates by Manbrush T. Wood.
Zombiepirates by Manbrush T. Wood.
Meteors, mindcontrol, mansions
Flirt with a witch and survive
Raising the dead: A popup book
Resurrection by C. Ialis
What to Expect when you're Expectorating
The Joy of Hex
Scouting for Boils
Weegie bored, A guide to Glasgow (Weegie is a slang term for a Glaswegian)
Is your familiar being too familiar?
Functional Invocation in C
Dopplegangers: A self help guide
Neighbours ate my zombies.
“If I`ll do it”, by OJ Simpson.
Mojo and Kazooie.
Mojo at the Dojo.
Love Potion Nº 8, burp.
I think maybe it could be named, instead:
Voodoo Dolls, or Acupuncture for Dummies
The Dalby Spook
(the above 2 are a real story that also sounds thimbleweed-y!)
In case you wonder why this title should be expected in an occult book store, just read the corresponding Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_group
:-)
"OUIJA Boards Don't Work"
or
"Is anybody there?"
=)
"We can't do this" by Ron Gilbert
"Yes you can" by Arto Vartiainen
"How I found the Grail and the Ark" by H. Jones jr.
Or
"How to find religious artifacts" by H. Jones jr.
"The omminocroeN"
"Cthulu where are thou? Easy invoque"
"Follow the light by Joe Electrician"
"Playing with things you shouldn't"
"Obey my bidding by Ron Dead Gilbert"
"White Zombie, Black Zombie"
"Do it yourself. Cast easy curses"
"Is it dead? Learn the differences"
"Live like you mean it by Dead Ted"
"Granpa is that you? Become a medium"
"Become a rare medium!"
"Easy steps to rise from the grave"
"Half life, is it half real? 3rd ed." (see what i did there? Half Life 3?) :D
"Just a shovel. How to rise the dead"
"Voodoo and Juju, what is correct?"
"Become bony. Dieting in afterlife"
"Becoming vegetarian by Vlad Tepes"
"How to use silverware by Wolfman"
"Keep the occult in plain sight"
"Go to hell by Satan"
"How to keep your rags clean"
"Heck this is easy! Hex and curses"
"What the hell? The devil, Biography"
"The ghouls rules book"
"Daemons or Demons? Is the same? NOT
"What the hell? A Satan biography"
"Which craft? Witchcraft!"
Dr. D and Mr. E Go to the Fair
Aliens hot secrets (Big Boops and Big Whoops)
The secret of Rendlesham Forest
Rendlesham Forest - Lieutenant Colonels Return
Indiana Jones and the fate of Atlantis
Zak McKracken and the alien Mindbenders
I saw Elvis in my Cup of Coffee
Abduction by aliens (A hot night on Sirius)
Area 51 - The Balloon is back!
Barack Obama and other lizards
Roswell - E.T's Love - Ranch
Betty und Barney Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Alien in the West)
Phoenix Lights - Aliens or LED???
E.T. in Disneyland
E.T. in Hollywood
Alf presents: The best English courts
Alf presents: Cat in Ginger
* reference to the faces (Small Faces - "Itchycoo Park")
Squaring the Pentagram Circle
The Alchemist's Almanac
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Elemental Thelema
Satanism for Beginners
Hidden Symbols in Plain View
Conservative Party Manifesto
The Household Witch
Crockpots and Cauldrons
Spiritual Jazzercise
666 Portals To Visit
101 Things to Kill Before you Die
Eternity: Keeping Busy
The Sacrificial Popup Book
Puberty and You
Dot-to-Dot-to-Dead
50 Festive Pentagrams
This Book Is Cursed
Make That Minotaur your Man
Yoga For Occultists
In-laws: Making an Impression
Getting Familiar with your Familiar
Wake Up to Make Up
Tunes to Rune out to
Getting Possessed For Kicks
Summon your Mum (and other things)
Spookyrumpus
The Making of Thriller
Death Doesn't Have to be the End
150 Banned Spells
Golf by Swami Hollawanda
My date with Gozer
WTF - Whitches and Trolls Fans
Parry Hotter (book 5 of 7)
DDDD - Don't Drop Dead Darling
Putting the UN in undead
Buy'n'sell used body parts by Stan
Not the book U-R looking for
IMTRAPPEDINTHISBOOKSENDHELPNOW
Don't read. You did. Did you?
Would you mind reading minds?
ia ia cthulhu fhtagn by H.P.L.
Ja Ja das Chtulhu fhtagnen by Hans
Tempted by the Tentacle
Don't let the Tentacle tempt u
Another one turned to dust
U-turn undead
Aghast! A ghost!
Wherewolf and Whywolf
There-wolf, there-castle by Igor
Abby... Someone
How to choose Schwanzstuckers
Quiet dignity and grace by F.F.
Klaatu, verata... necktie?
Klaatu, verata... nickel?
Klaatu, verata... nectar?
Klaatu, verata... noodle?
Blue pill or red pill?
!!!SPOILER ALERT!!! ...you die
Witchcraft is coming by Ed. Stark
La Divina Commedia
Where is Waldo? In a coffin.
I think therefore I am
I was therefore I rot
Mummifying Mothers-in-law
Never wish for another wish
ArtificialAlternativeArtifact
Damn, I'll spend so much time scrolling through the books.
Color Cycling by Ghost-Artist M.F.
The Secret of Fractalus by D. Fox
Perk upgrade & other myths by R. Gilbert
Also: a 3 by 3 grid of books labeld "?". When you click one it switches to "X" and another will switch to "O". This is basically a Tic Tac Toe Mini game hidden in the shelves.
Also: A treasure Hunt: there could by several books pointing to each other:
"2 up, 1 right"
"5 left, 5 down"
Etc.
Finally you get "And all I got was this lousy book"
Contract: Selling Monkey Island™ signed by W.D. and R.G.
10: GOTO 10 - Programming for Witches
Angry Nerds
An Adventurer Guide to Point and Hex
How not to breath for 10 Minutes
H.O.N.Z.E - hack on nerd zombies early
How to play chess with Death
W.Vista is written by Satan
Evocate spirits using c++
This is not an occult book
I kissed a ghost and I liked it
Death by Snu Snu
Voodoo & graphic cards
"Area 51 Vacation Homes"
"Pointed Decor" By Vlad the Impaler
"Zombies Ate My Neighbors" Loved that game!
Anne of Green Goblins
Cauldron of the Wild
Gone with the Wendigo
Valley of the Voodoo Dolls
The Golem Whisperer
And the one that is far too long, but I present it anyway in case someone can do something better with it...
How to Succeed in Fortune-Telling Without Really Scrying
Programming with Ron Gilbert,
On stranger tides by Tim Powers,
Piracy by Guybrush Threepwood,
"The Art of Burials"
Odin's Guide to Parenting
Yggdrasil: Unchained
Runes for Dyslexics
Fashion for the afterlife
These 2 need to be next to each other:
Curing headaches with voodoo,
Causing headaches with voodoo
These 2 also:
Killing Dracula by A. van Helsing,
Killing Jesus by Bill O'Reilly,
Balls: From Disco to Crystal
50 Newt-ella Recipes
The Accidental Summoning
Fiat Flux by Urinella
Smoking thimbleweed
The Dead Cat in the Hat
Witchdoctor Seuss' Sleep Book
Everyone Poops: Voodoo Pranks
The Zombie's Guide to Living
The Real Secret of MI by RG & GW
Reanimation for Dummies
The Bank Vault: A Memoriam
Uh Oh! The Unfortune Teller
The Anti-Bible, by Satan
The Devil's Tapestry
How to Travel the Astral Plane
Makeup Made Easy with Glamours
Dark Secrets of the Caribbean
Business Magic 101 by M. Digle, MBA
77 uses for umbilical cords
Dead pets - replace or reanimate?
Voodoo on a budget: I Roadkill
Voodoo on a budget: II Rubber Animals
Hexing with Hamsters
Hamsters: the cute alternative
The King James Bible
The Brick Testament
The Holy Quran
The Loose Canon
Adam and Steve
"Laws by Murphy"
"The Thimbleweedguide by R. Gilbert"
"Life is a game by Anderson"
"Our universe is not real by Neo"
"What is reality? by Morpheus"
"Experiments on Squirels by Dracula"
"Phone Book by Telephone Company"
"The Writer by Ghost"
"The Books Catalogue (Library)"
Unfortunately that title is a bit long...
Cannibalism, by Nora Legov (26)
Smothering Wights (17)
Tarot Cards for Fun and Profit (30)
Whittling for Diviners (22)
WOOO and Other Scary Noises (27)
Where’s Annie? by D. Cooper
The Black Lodge Cookbook
Mastering the Art of French Hexing.
Orkus!
M'era Lunaw
WGT Pfingstbote
oculus rift dk2 manual
It is pretty dang hard coming up with something clever using only 30-35 characters. :(
The Dark Powers of Electricity
How to Shrink Pixels
Berlin Wall: The End is Near
Meditation: Haste Makes Waste
Mysterious Elixirs: Beer
There Was Snow in her TV
Money Talks
Deregulation of Financial Markets
Get Beyond Your Character Limits by
(I know: self-help, not occult. But trust me, the techniques inside are EXTREMELY OCCULT. Raster interrupts etc.)
Meanwhile here are some more titles.
Pyramid Schemes of the Gods?
The Obfuscated Codex
Daemonica Le Winskae
Bestiary Bestiary Everiary
Spellyng Thyngs Wryng
How to Pick Your Gnosis
The Rite to Remain Silent
Pixie Hunting by U. Cantby Sirius
"Ghost Station Zebra"
"The Original New Believers"
"The Less than Perfect Matrimony"
"The Kramerian Cosmo-Conception"
"Satanism and World of Warcraft"
How to survive without parents by Bambi
Chat with dead lion kings by Mufasa
Vegan Vodoo I: Rubber Chickens
Voodoo on a budget III: Re-reanimation
Sewer smells and their meaning
Necromancing the Bones
The Unspeakable Oath (this is not funny, but a nod to a honored Lovecraftian magazine)
Enoch's Guide to Feng Shui
Women are from Yuggoth, Men are from Qliphoth
Crowley's New Thong
Mambo #5
Beginning Python
Advanced Shuffling for Zombies
Brains: Brains Brains, Brains?
Zomburritos: A Hex-Mex Cookbook
Save The Newts: Easy Vegan Voodoo
Who Moved My Cursed Cheese?
Voodoo Mail: Correspondence Curses
Bubble Bubble, Toilet Trouble
(you guys like Gaiman and Pratchett, right?)
To Serve Man:Soylent Green Recipies
Ringo is Dead by Pete B.
From Accountant to Dragon Tamer
Esoteric Design Patterns
The Medieval Bartender
CloneBeer for Witches: Cursed Kegs
Hell is for Real
7 Habits of Highly Effective Witches
Voodoo: CPR For Dummies
(To try to spice up a commonly found title, here...)
NecronomiCon 1981 visitors guide
Cama Suit Ra and the Egyptagods
Nutri-Brain: cooking for zombies
Conman's Game of Death
Desecrations, lubrications, incantations
Krakens, drakens and kreatures
Cult followers and social multimedia
101 new uses for frog spawn
DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK!
Advanced quantum physics
Essential herbs and funghi
Ewige Blumenkraft!
How to hypnotize your toad
The septagram experiment
Poisoning First Aid by R M Renfield
The Rossum Guide to Golems
Crystal Skulls: Just Say No
There and Back Again by Orpheus
Building Code for Megaliths
Mysticism and Goats by G Stobbart
Applied Contract Law by Dr. Faust
Medium Rare: Food For Spirits
"Which Newt" Magazine #1-#12
Single Mullet Theory
Cauldron Polishing Tips
Hamster Microwave Recipes
Jetpacks! The World Of 2015
Loose Change: On Arcade Games
Cydonia: A Tourist's Guide
Accidental Saviour By T Greenbriar
Hotspot Hunting By J. Kyratzes
Hi-Fi Buyer's Guide 1982-83
By Cassie Role
Barbie's life as a voodoo doll - by Ken
How to break the fourth wall - by Ron Gilbert
how to work with diskettes
learning 8bit languages
finding the truth out there
mediations with aliens
"Flirting w. the Devil, How to" (would prefer "A How to Guide" but too long :P)
"Vampire Polish Owner's Guide" (for when you want your vampires to sparkle)
Also +1 for Tobin's Spirit Guide if not somehow copyrighted ;)
"Invisible Man (Coloring Book)"
Pillow making for your coffin
How to join a blood group
If not possible make an easter-egg with one book "portals and how to find them" (or something similar) that opens a secret door and give us a second room with the rest of the funny titles...
But PLEASE dont omit these jokes just because you havent enough space.
Why Egypt almost rhymes with crypt
Heaven's phonebook - by Lucidfer
Elevator chants
#000000 magic
Ouija .NET
Familiar problems
My BFF the wand
Get Retarded by Black Eyed P.
Pimples: Hieroglyphics On Skin
Sinister Purge by Ron Zombie
What Halitosis Reveals
(In case it doesn't display: Lot's of fun is to be had with UTF-8, good luck trying to implement it in your engine...) ;-)
Suburban Herbs - Toxic But Tasty
Oozing ectoplasms easy made
Herbert’s Best Reanimations
E.A. Poe: Eureka: A Prose Poem
LeChucks Book of Grog
The Tentaculum
Murrays Lore of Twilight
How to get to cow level
WitchCraft 2
WitchCraft 3
World of WitchCraft
Running WitchCraft into the ground
Enough with the WitchCraft already
"Words" by Klaatu, Barada & Nikto
"Surviving San Diego Necronomicon"
"Pyramid Schemes (For Architects)"
"Papyrus Platypus And Other Origami"
"Voynich Manuscript Walkthrough"
"Diary" by Henry Jones, Sr.
"666-284-8548"
which works out to "666-Cth-ulhu"
Also bonus idea depending on if you allow people to dial random numbers on the phone close up "room" you could allow people to dial this number. Then have the response on the phone be the famous "ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" in caps.
The Scummnomicon
Love Bombs - Do They Really Work?
The Joy of Arexx
Shape-Shifting for Clowns by Pennywise (the obvious Stephen King reference)
Puzzle Cubes for Pinheads (for a Clive Barker reference)
"What is Book?" A Book Locating Guide
Unicorn Healing & Other Horrors
The Shadow out of Last Tuesday
Musical Transmogrification
What's in my Juju Bag?
User Interface Design
Grail Diaries and Other Forgeries
Lunar Occultations
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occult
Don't Reference Wikipedia...
48 6f 77 20 74 6f 20 48 65 78 21 <-- 'How to Hex!'
Long Walk Home by Mr. Bus
Life in the saddle by Major Bumsaw
How I fooled them all by L. Ron Hubbard
The Babe You Were Reminded Of.
(or just a series of books so it reads the whole silly song;)
You remind me of the babe
what babe
the babe with the power
what power
the power of voodoo
who do?
you do
do what?
Remind me of the babe
Scientomlogy - by Cruise Control
Yes, we cannibal - by Barock Omama
*it´s a pitty, it´s too long*
Ask Bobby by Bobby S.
How to talk to a Skull by Murray
How to talk to dead relatives
using a chainsaw the whole game
Stonehenge Lightning Experience
Atlantis: Dream of the Dolphin
Microwave Cooking 9: Eggs & Hamsters
The Daemon book - A BSD manual
Spawning daemons with fork()
Resurrecting dead code
Principles of Compiler Design
666 MIT-MAGIC-COOKIE-1 recipes
Chip designs using magic smoke
256 magic numbers for the C=64
0xDEADBEEF other magic numbers
Robes and wizard hats by Bloodninja
The definitive guide to AGI
The King's Quest 3 spell book
"xyzzy" and other magic words
The complete maps of R'lyeh
So you want to summon Cthulhu…
The 1984 R'lyehian Phone book
The Cthulhu pixie book
Are you there FSM? It's me Ron
Invisible Pink Unicorn photos
Rare misprinted Santanic Bible
"The Truth is Out There by Fox M." (32 chars)
Adventure Games - The Truth
"The A-Z of Occult Symbols"
Inside a Maniac's Head by S. Pantz
Decaying in Jail by S. K. Letton
Memoirs by P. Meteor
Publish Anything by M. Eteer
Complicated Tentacles by T. Green
Fun Experiments with Hamsters
Maintain your Fuel-less Chainsaw
All books above published by "3 guys who publish anything, Inc."
Roswell and Opus Dei
Stonehenge: Monument or spaceport?
The secret of the hollow earth
Free mason knitting
Three mile island and UFO's
Colonel Sanders and the bildeberg group
Tungusta - meteor or giant cupcake.
Money Pit Escape by Tom Cranks
Wooden Voodoo Doodle by Carpenter
Prescriptions Templates
MM Walk-Thru Guide
100 ways to kill Mutant-Squirrels
Wicked Harassments by Panda
How to predict lottery winners
Faster than light - by E.T.'s unsatisfied wife
The Spellcaster Safety Manual
Practical Potion Making
Cauldron Cleaning Tips
Cooking Newts for Two
A Warlock and Key
Magical Item Storage Safety
Proper Cackling Technique
Mystical Mumbo Jumbo
Which is Witch? by Ms. Spell
Runes and Other Hidden Gems
Raising Hellions
Going Left is Right by A Miss
Conjuring Your Inner Spirit
Familiar Faces
"Breathing control techniques"
"Enchanted pirates and loot"
Yogi werebear and friends
Poltergeist home improvement
Enchanting for fun and profit
Hex-ups: O brother, where art thou?
Weight watchers by R. Summons
Consuelo el espiritista by Ramon Cerda
by U2
(Obviously a bundled book in the library)
Medieval Robot Devils
Evil Crochet
Demented Drawings (of cats)
Pass the Clumps
Tax for Taxidermists
Lobotomising your Neighbour
Tales from the Bog
Famous Beards of the Undead
Afterlife Dinner Etiquette
Exhumed and Underpaid
Witches Gone Wild
Possesion for Kids
Yikes!
None More Black
Nuns: God's Henchwomen
Eat Yourself Thin
Neverworlde Scrabble Tips
Etc!
Obamacare for witch doctors
Don't kick my crystall balls
Creating Fractals for evil
Repentagrams by N.Flanders
The 'Sigh' Chick hotline
'Sage' advice: Take Thyme out
Oui Ouija: Being dead & French
Lonely Planet guide to Hades
Scooby Voodoo
Cancer: The Sick Star Sign
We bought a Zoodiac
George's Marvellous Medicine
Prismers of the Sun
Cannibalism: theory and practice
Herding knights & other dragon food
9 Astral Planes To See While You Die
(Ok that's 37... This is hard)
Hex Better w/ One Weird Trick
Helter Skeleton by the Beetles
A Ghast From the Past
kids' section:
If you Give a Witch a Cookie
The Paranormal ABCs
My First Resurrection
some that are too long:
What to Expect when you're Hexpecting
Wizards and Devils and Voodoo, Oh My!
Aged techniques: Code Wheels
I don't think the "by Ron Gilbert" will make people get the reference, if they hadn't already.
Eat Yourself Dead
Elvis ate my Zombie
Cooking for Pricks
The Misunderstood Mentalist
Ironmongery for Bats
Smile like you're Dead
Sing when you're Dead
Army of Bees
Spruce up that Tomb!
Festive Freaks
Urn your Rest
Macabre Knitting Patterns
TV Guide
VIP RIP
Undercover Underworlde
The Very Hungry Caterkilla
50 Uses for Unexpected Juices
The Hamster's revenge - by Micromanagement
Poletergeist dancing - by The Sexorcist
Why Books Explode (Don’t Open)
How to Exterminate Thimbleweed
Potions Kill People!
How Voo You Doo?
Deadly Potions Without Aftertaste
Eye for Tooth Spells Gone Wrong
Pride and Prejudice and Exorcism
Doovoo for Dyslexics
Exploding Kittens Strategy Guide
Kickstarter Terms and Conditions
MacroNecronomics: Too Dead to Fail
I Cannibal, So Can You! -L.H.
Herbaceous Herbs: Magic with Stank
Dead Parent's Waiting Room -G.P.L.
Better Homes and Graveyards
Plunder Island: Herbs & Roots
Tentacle Sex Secrets
How to misuse microwaves
Witches do it in circles
The Z-Files
Suck my crystal balls
My Mojo by M. Myers
Guru Meditation by A. Miga
Carving your own coffin
The Evil Dead Companion
MS Exchange: THIS is Voodoo
Voodoo++ for dummies
Looking forward to a great game. Hope to hear from it, when its ready.
I Was an Undead Teenage Lobot -R.G.
The Day of the Zombie Bastards
My Holiday with Death
Mandy and the Mutants
Summer Swamp Styles
Life's Better When You're Deader
Why Won't he Posses me!
Dreams From My Father
Understanding Slimer
Ectoplasm Soup for the Soul
Pain in the necromancy
Twinings & Tasseomancy
Octarine paint by numbers
Pundead and other bad jokes
Phrenology in Braille
Chilli induced visions.
How cheese affects your dreams
*Notes*
The Great Pumpkin is from Peanuts (Aka Snoopy)
Dreams from my father is Obama's book
Slimer is the ghost from Ghostbusters
Tasseomancy is the fancy word for Tea Leaf Reading
Octarine is the Colour of Magic in Discworld
The Nine Gates by Torchia
Delicatessen by H.Lecter
Tune your Chrysler into Christine
The basics of Moon Base Building
Gorgeous Pet Semataries
Initiation into Psychic Karate
Broomstick Carving with Kate
How to Avoid Huge Sticks
Re-reusing Old Graves
Everything I Want to Do is Unholy
Mommy's a Witch Because You're Bad
Does Satan Ever Speak Through Cats?
Are You There, Satan? It's Me, Margaret
Demonology for Dummies
Hieroglyphics for Mummies
VCR Instruction Manual
Dead Soviets See Me
Original Italian Eyes Cream Recipes
WinRAR Business Plan
Death Note (if there are no copyright problems)
Might come up with some more tomorrow.
Less Than 35 Characters
Haha.
So You Think You Can Trance
Like A Faust: Rexamining A Legend
Twelve Days To Slimmer Thighs
Wards: What Are They Good For?
Er, I posted my earlier entries under 'Tom Noir'. That should be 'Tom Braun'. Old internet habit. *blushes*
Managing ScummVM
@Ron: Btw... Do you have contact to the guys of ScummVM? Are there plans to extend ScummVM with your changed version of Squirrel (you mentioned something of changes to the Squirrel compiler here: http://blog.thimbleweedpark.com/scrolling_rooms)??
Thanks.
How to raise dead and other party tricks
A brief guid to ghostbusting
1...2....3... posession
exorcism do's and don'ts
Where's that safe key again?
Spiritual guide for pets
Not with my baby By Rosemary
So you're dead, now what?
History of Lucasarts
Ghost the movie
The only real book about occult
Pigeons from Hell
Rickroll the dead
Hexes for Ex's
The Dark Force by D. Vader
It was broken when I got here
Occult furnishing guide
iä iä cthulhu fhtagn
Repo Man
Occult poker guide
Spirit guides and bathroom privacy
Don't talk to me like I'm dead
Ghosts and Goblins
I married a ghost
Ouija for the whole family
The Waltzing dead
UFO or a ghost
Where's my train?
Walking to afterlife
Yard gargoyles
Gnomes gone wild
How to win the lottery
Voodoo for gamblers
Babylonian Astrology And You
Guide To The Astrological Houses
Seeing With Your Inner Eye
Cooking With Horoscopes
Healing Power of the Planets
The Heavenly Spheres
The Quotable Capricorn
Stargazer's Secrets
Freemasonry Decoded
Portals of Chaos
Esoterica and Iconography
Salomonic Magical Arts
The Book of Whyte Magicka
Guide To Occult London
The Nose, Your Third Eye
Evil Weapons Against The Evil
Ji Jyske's Jealousness Jinxes
Modern Masters of Magic
Autopsies Uncut
Hacking into Heaven
Turn Up the DOOM!
Ouch, They're My Mandibles
Spice Up Your Death
Eat your Friends
Can't Stop Coffin
Tindering the Dead
...A
Did Aliens Build The Sears Tower?
Sparkle No More: Vampire Depression
UFOs: Can They See Me Naked?
Chemtrails: When Aliens Fart
- "Helvetica for Propaganda"
- "The book of lost socks"
- "Charts and Diagrams 101"
- "Why develop a game in Haskell"
- "Breaking Standards, a retrospective"
- "Reading future from summonses"
- "Traffic roundabout for dummies"
Playing with Dolls - Best Practices
Astral-Cadabra
Driving a Stick: A Witch’s Guide
Hell: The Floorplan
Sheets of Rage
Tools for Ghouls
Transmogrify your Gran
Victorian Drawers of Perception
Tickling the Annubis
Ghost F**kers
Why Garlic Makes You Lonely
DIY Turn Lead Into Gold
20 Richness Spells by 50Cent
Smurfs are real! by Gargamel
Avoiding Lawsuits by Indiana Smith
Puzzle Dependency Charts 101
If none of the following get into the game I'll be officially opening my own occult book shop just to make it happen!
Famous Beards of the Undead
Exhumed and Underpaid
Witches Gone Wild
Gdnight all...
Bigfoot v man: true interracial love
Lemuria: what the world government hides
The commie-republican conspiracy
Elvis Lives - on the secret moon colonies!
Space reptiles killed JFK!
Ronnie is a Commie!
Lost recipes of the Inca Kitchen
The Face on Mars - communist awareness
Cola is a Communist Conspiracy
The world is flat - with proof!
Movies based on books
Occultivate yourself
Your mysterious dark side and you
Partial Transfiguration by HJPEV
Mummification for Mummies
1001 graveyards before you die
The Free Software Manifest by RMS
Git: A practitioners guide
Advanced Dowsing
Fireflies: Myth or Reality?
How to summon a daemon (I)
How to release a daemon (II)
How to defeat a daemon (III)
How to defeat a daemon army (IV)
How to end daemoncalypse (V)
Herbal perfumes for beginners
50 shades of crow
6 crow feet & 9 pig toes - the guide
Handbook for the Recently Diseased
Blind Third Eye and other Occult Music
Why the VCR will make you homosexual!
The Soviet Union - why they will win this Cold War
Gravity is a lie!
Cthulhu is dead
Proper Potions by Wyatt Burns
DIY: Replacing Limbs w/Power Tools
Flayed Skin Origami
His Baby & You by R. Woodhouse
How to Build Your Own Zombie!
Dieting Tips by Slender Man
Express Yourself w/ Dead Chickens
Childcare for New Mummies
Handbook for the Recently Diseased
The DMV and the Living Dead
So You're Dating A Homunculus
How to epilate your hoofs
The Very Accursed Caterpillar
Rich Dad, Voodoo Dad
The Dark Pixel Arts
Great Hexpectations
Who Moved My Voodoo Dolls?
How to Curse Friends and Beguile People
The Fine Comedy
The Satanic Purses
5,25" Floppy Loading Time Fillers
? :-)
Decapitation healing primer
Vegan sacrificial offering 101
How to re-moisture dried innards
Meteor Hot Stone Recipes
Advanced Sacrificing for Kids
Chainsaw Instruction Manual
Reuse sacrificed cats by Alf Tanner
Basement sized nuclear power plants
Burning witch screams audiobook
Famous Tyrants in Fine Leather Jackets
Origami Voodoo Doll Folding
Wiring of Red Buttons
Initiation Rites for Dummies
Hypra Load by Schneider & Schramm
How to use a disk notcher vol 3
How to ignore instructions, mainly regarding but not limited to limited text length
"Are You Sure You Want to Win?"
"The Secret of A Monkey & An Island."
.-Memoirs inside a coffin - by Stan
.-How I survived inside a coffin - by Stan
.-How to tease Death by Bill &Ted
.-THE secret of Monkey Island
.-Mix 'N' Mojo Voodoo recipes
Anthropos
The Fractal I/Eye
Celestial and Human Cycles
.LM_FO~
Meaning of Angles/Angels
Vortices of Perception
Metaphysics and Procedural Geometry
"GT & The Suction Cups Discography"
"Gas Cans and Other Lost Items"
"Tuna Head and Other Insults"
Kabbalah of Knots and Hitches
Take the Secret Chiefs Bowling
Spells for Young Elves
My Two Daimons
Everybody Loves Raphael
Mystic Rhythm Sections
Voodoo for Dunces
Babalon Five-Oh
Dope by Paschal Beverly Randolph
Fairy Dust Sudoku
Subterranean Hedge Mage Blues
Dianetics for Pirates
Blasphemy for Fun and Profit
Ceremonial Magick at the Movies
Where's Hermes Trismegistus?
How to Bewitch Your Pet in 7 Days
Three Books of Occult Philosophy
Clavicula Solomonis
Heptameron
Christian Astrology
Book Four
The Magical Qabalah
Cabalistic Encyclopedia
The Complete Magician’s Tables
777
The Treasure of Alexander
Voudon Gnostic Workbook
Celestial Magic
Picatrix
Corpus Hermeticum
De Mysteriis
De Vita Libri Tres Marsilii Ficini
Steganographia
De Umbris Idearum
Oration on the Dignity of Man
Sepher Yetzirah
The Zohar
Condensed Chaos
Real Magic
All the Light We Cannot See
Summon the Magic Recipe
Protocols of the 5th Dimension
Extraordinary Knowing
The Magus of Strovolos
The Golden Bough
Do-it-Yourself Wand Repair
Throwing Your First Seance Party
Satans Brother Sal: The Untold Story
7 Pointed Stars: Believe The Hype
Eye of the Tiger
Understanding Women, A Guide
Blue Crystals for dummies
The Science of Chrono Trigger
Sports Almanach 1955-2015
Manny's Guide to the Afterlife
Writing Multithreaded Programs
How to win at Arika's Tetris
Write Once, Run Anywhere
Timmy Smith and the Amazon Order
Timmy Smith and the Chamber
Timmy Smith Book 5: Driver's Ed
2015 Cauldron Digest (change year to fit Thimbleweed Park timeline)
Speedy Hexes for Moms on the Go
Safely Reverse the KcUhcel Curse
Tin Foil Origami Vol 1
Tin Foil Origami Vol 2
Tin Foil Origami Vol 4
Tin Foil Origami Vol 5
Ouija Hacks: Planchette Jailbreak
The 60Hz Hum by Francis Z McKracken
Please set me free from this book
Cooking Cockroach Cookies
Making Of Thimbleweed Park
Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find'em
Thimbleweed Park, a History
Where's Zombie Wally?
Asterix, the zombie
How to pretend you're alive
Self Help with Voodoo
The rise and fall of Ron Gilbert
Ron Gilbert's unauthorized autobiography (40 characters)
How to treat moonburnt skin
Occult 45: Does it Every Time
How to Ruin a Wedding by G.Th.
Raising LucasArts from the Dead
The Art of Swan Transfiguration
Voodoo Kickstarting for Beginners
How to raise the antichrist without dying in the attempt
Necronomicon for dummies
Homunculus linguistics
Fun tentacles styles for gods of the new era
Wish theory: asking for more wishes
Grow your own goronbonzia!
How to make glasses for people with shrinked heads
I was a teenage Lobot
History book by Cagliostro
1001 dates for the apocalypse
How to practice Safe Hex
Don't catch a cauldron
Occult Classic Films
Mummy and daddy
Incents and Insects
Wicca pedia
Wicca leaks
Hogwarts Entrance Guide
Let It Go by Voodoo Priestess
Look Behind You, A Practical Guide For the 3rd Eye
Necklaces & Earrings Guide for Occult
Dream Catcher 101
The Mysteries of Bawaajige Nagwaagan
Power & Wisdom Colouring Book
Honey I shrunk the kids heads
Hitchhickers guide for walking dead
Ghost dogs and rubber chickens
Live and let die by Captain Barbosa
Past Lives of Hamsters
Making BBQ With Satan
How To Summon More Than Your Courage
Read This Book Before It Reads You
The Sunday School Lessons of H. P. Lovecraft
Esotericism for everybody
Nintendo Power vol 13.
ImageMagick®
Salem town guide
Advanced Palette Shifting Techniques
Agile Estimating and Planning
The Split Saber by Lancaster Dodd
Gödel, Escher, Bach
Timaeus by Plato
Programming in Emacs Lisp
GNU Emacs Manual
The C++ Programming Language
How to Win Friends and Influence People (37)
Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution
Though, I don't think Occult room fits in the murder mystery game. It would be better suited in a fantasy game like MI.
The Black Lodge on a Budget
Making the most of the Black Lodge
The Black Lodge: Sights & Nightlife
Seckrit Digits Explained
Grog Masters of the Caribbean
Decomposing funeral music
Procrastinating immortality
Law review: Patenting potions
Sue me: needlework for undertakers
Vision and magical leadership
Make-up 101 - How to hide vampire glitter
Afterlife for Dummies
Tooth Files - The Ultimate Guide
The history of grog and its ingredients
50 Shades Of Voodoo
The Devil's Bargain by Imas Tillalive
What is your Soul Really Worth?
The Bermuda Triangle for Free Spirits
50 Ways to Leave your Dimension
Immortality for Dummies
Successful Seances by R.U.Thayer
My Year in Limbo by Reilly Stuckere
My haunted memories by C. LeChuck
The good, the Bad and the Evil
Voodoo: corporate management guide
Connect the dots: pentagrams
Hex and The City
Mars resorts for witches
Preservation of Triceratops Tears
Kickstarting incantations
2) A Brief History of Slime
3) Chicken Soup for the Soul Sucker
4) Economy of Scales
5) Possession: 9/10 of the Fun
6) Our Broomsticks, Ourselves
7) I, Warlock
8) Blood Ritual: Childcare Made Simple
9) Cannibals Eat People Too
10) Bat Fancy
Harrasment between succubi: how to dealt with it
If she's possessed is it incest
Cloudreading
Escape from hell - A practical guide
Firebending
How to smell the devil
"The mysteries of clothes: why ghost are never naked?"
"Bermuda Triangle Travel Guide"
"How to Cheat in Tarot: playing your cards right"
"Handbook for the recently lost souls"
"Scare the fat diet: Beetle juice three times a day!"
"The Necro-comicon for Groovies"
"Homer's guide to the 3rd Dimension" (by H. Simpson)
"Maniacal Manson and the Pray of the Pentacle"
"Secrets of the Island Monkeys"
"Karma-sutra, illustrated"
"Dante's travel: there and back again!"
"Spell-in-book: dyslexia edition"
"Fabric mysteries: why ghosts ain't naked"
"Tarot cheating: play your card right"
"Handbook for the recent departed"
"Scare fat away: beetle juice thrice a day!"
"Maniacal Manson"
"Pray of the Pentacle"
"Dante's travel: dead and back again!"
"Manners: From witch to enchanting lady"
"Mortal Questions"
"Who led the ghosts out?!"
"Crows before Snow" by Olly BackStabber
"How to make Death not a Dead End"
"Exorcism-In-Use 1: Exteme Constipation"
"Exorcism-In-Use 2: Spiritual Abortion"
"Exorcism-In-Use 2: The Mother-in-Law"
"Oxford Studies in Reversed Exorsism"
"Oxford Studies in Reversed Possession"
"Necromancy: Animate the Party" ("Necromancy: Be the Life of the Party")
"The Price is Right: Soul-Selling Edition"
"Are you really gonna read all these titles?"
"Titles, Titles everywhere"
"Reading Titles: The Never-Ending Quest"
"The Title Conquest Nightmare"
"The Title Conquest Nightmare"
"Titles, Titles and guess what...more Titles"
“Hexen hexen (ungekürzte Fassung)” [German version of “The witches” by Roald Dahl from 1983; literally: “Witches practice witchcraft (unabridged version)”]
“Die kleine Hexe” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; literally: “The little witch”]
“Das kleine Gespenst” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; literally: “The little ghost”]
“Krabat” [German childbook by Otfried Preußler; published in English as “The satanic mill”]
The German books may (also) be usable for the translated version… Boris, are you reading?
Extinguishing the Enlightened
voodoo with fried chicken
voodoo and chicken, a love story
how to combine voodoo and barbecue
voodoo BBQ: join pleasant & useful
phone numbers starting with 666
smileys on ouija boards
explaining black magic to kids
to be or not to be dead
how to leave your body by Bye
the little book of demons
hey what a weird thing
from poker to tarot
magic the gathering
Day of the Tantalus
Duke Spook ’em
Broom
Leisure Dress Fairy
Weather Goddesses of Phobos
Penultima: Purgatory
Summoner Games
The reason I didn’t come up with this before is that I am not a native speaker and have only heard of “pentagram”.
Whipping Blood Cults by H. Jones Jr.
Principia Discordia
and some alliterations:
Charming Chants
Deadly Dances
Seriously Sinister Serums
Potentially Poisonous Potions
Totally Trivial Tinctures
English-Latin Dictionary
(as an homage to the "Instand Videos" in Spacesballs the movie :)
Hairstyles of the Luftwaffe
Filthy Rich and Terribly Dead
Occult Origami Occasions
Varnishing your Face
Gardening for Freaks
Richard Simmons: Jazzercise
Undead High: Startling Prof. Bones
Undead High: Spring Break
Undead High: Schools Terminated
Love in the Afterlife
Shirley Temples of Doom
Holidaying in Hades
"How to handle a stick"
"Probeing Uranus by A. Lien"
I also think that the author of a book should only appear when really looking at it. It is kind of confusing to have some books with author and some without.
Voynich manuscript abridged.
Encyclopedia Galactica
On Stranger Tides
Shakespear with a talking skull
Indiana Bones - Fraction Stories
The silversmith werewolf.
Cooking without garlic by C Dracula
The Book of Hoof
The Infinity Teachings
Mastering PEEK, POKE & Other Spells
The Hard Wind And Other Qabalistic Writings
Black Cat Bad Cat
An Introduction to Chaos Magic
"Amiga Hardware Reference Manual" this is gold, well played 'Count Jul 27'
300 lbs - Thin Air: Ghost Diets
Be Buffyware Avoid Slayers by J Whedon
Vacuum Cleaner Disrepair Guide
50 quick and easy curses
the beginner's guide to evil spirits
demonic doorways to make yourself
the manly art of witchcraft
your first voodoo doll
a passion for necromancing
charms for everybody
full frontal witchcraft
the practical guide to satanism
reference to chuck the plant from maniac mansion
Voodoo To doo
So Hot in Hell
Original names for your spells
Summon demons using C++
The hitchhiker's guide to Hell
Afterlife etiquette
Lose weight, become a skeleton
101 ways to prank the dead
DON'T READ THIS BOOK
WHY DID YOU READ THAT BOOK
Ghosts can help you bowl a 300
How-to write fun book names
How-to beat Ron to death
How-to find books in an occult shop
The highest book on the shelf
The lowest book on the shelf
How-to use tarot to win at poker
Oui-ja yes si: the affirmative book
Spiritism in a coffin-shell (by O'Reilly)
Bonkers and boners: a skeleton life
Your bife is a witch
Spelling spells: s-p-e-l-l-s
Casting spells for Hollywood
The Medium rare steak
Psychic-trist handbook
Fortune-and-story telling
Deja-vú-doo: deja-vú-doo
Chicken internals: a voodoo handbook
I think I'm empty now :)
How to Behave in Your Grave
Stop Coughing in Your Coffin
Cooking From the Graveyard
Rats and Other Pets
How to Ride a Broomstick Decently
The Morality of Mortality
Weed Jar Board Games
Quantum Alchemy
(Simpsons Treehouse Of Horror V)
Sleeping other-wordly monsters
Accounts of the great Witch War I
Creepy Crawly Cuddly Creatures
Backfiring potions by mr Meow
Mastering vim
Pimp My Broom
Monkey Wrenching *)
*) I already feel pity for the guys who are going to translate all that to other languages. Hi, Boris Schneider-Johne. ;-)
Stage Magic by The Voodoo Lady
The Memoirs of Guybrush Threepwood
The lighter side of shadow men
Occult Ovation - Success with magic
UF-NO: Identified Flying Objects
Florida: The Fountain of Youth
Ansible playbook by Commodore
How to program MSX in Python
How to install new Linux Kernel 5.0 in Z80
Monitoring with monitors
Why Workbech 1.0 is better than Windows 10
I buy an Apple and I have a worm
How To Find Fuel For The Astral Plane
To The Astral Plane and Back
The Restaurant at the End of the Other Side
The Restroom at the End of the Astral Plane
Guitar Lessons: How to wake the dead
Mr. Crowley, by Ozzy Osbourne
How to Defeat Magic Talking Caves
:-)
ROFLOL With a Voodoo Doll
Hardcore Hex The Private Parts
Skeletal Diets Risks and Challenges
Full Moon Again Intimate Grooming
Rubber Chicken Voodoo The Pulley
Not So Charming Charms
13 Deadly Potions You Never Tasted
"What they don't teach you at Occult School"
Summs up all human knowledge.
an angel-devil lovestory, part 2 (leave part 1 for your next adventure ;-)
If that's too much, "The Pragmatic Necromancer" or a play on the tech book pattern with "Beautiful Necromancy".
Slim pickings – cannibalism on a diet
Shabby Eek! – Home Decor
Hip Lingo for occultists
The Necronomicon for young readers
Death Hacks
Bedtime Stories: Best of Beelzebub
The bat in the hat
The gardener’s handbook to hellish herbs
Pet monster potty training
50 tricks for your hell hound
Vegan recipes for the modern witch
Clairvoyance for dummies
Ancient mystic curses for dummies
Voodoo on a budget
Lonely planet’s guide to Transylvania
Mystic Matchmaking
Dating the dead
Mean and green. Eco friendly sorcery
DIY in the dark – decorate your home
Witch’s guide to vintage clothing
Cute Kittens & Cotton Candy
…So you’ve cursed the wrong person
365 everyday spells
Evil twins: Your shadow and you
Sayings of Satan: a dictionary
Winnie the Boo!
I, Dracula – an autobiography
The digital warlock
Trolls online and IRL
101 potent potions
Inquisition and you
Inquisition for beginners
Book covers by James Allen
Syntax horror by R. Gilbert
Leg bone's connected to a chain
Afterlife has 3 dimensions
Is there a cursor on you?
Is your life preprogrammed?
I peeked a little, by H. Jones Jr.
Feng Shui for aura reading
Trepanning for fun and profit
Feng Shui and ancient artifacts
Ancient aliens
Not so ancient aliens
Relatively recent aliens
Look behind you! A 3 headed alien!
Astral projection and Mars
Angels and baseball
I see through you Mr Ghost!
Poltergeist practical jokes
I am dead people - a ghost's tale
Murray - from the skull's mouth!
Guide to the River Styx
For t' luv of Marley - LeChuck
(These are real books - OLD but real - some are amusing others just sound cool)
Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie
Corpus Hermeticum
On the Mysteries of Egypt
The Bahir
Three Books of Occult Philosophy
Fourth Book of Occult Philosophy
The Heptameron of Peter De Abano
The Aurora of the Philosophers
The Lesser Key of Solomon
The Key of Solomon
Grand Grimoire
Grimorium Verum
Pseudomonarchia Daemonum
The Golden Chain of Homer
Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie
The Secret Doctrine
Tarot of the Bohemians
Liber Al Vel Legis
The Pictorial Key To the Tarot
Magick Without Tears
*The Time I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*When I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*Where I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T?
*Why I blew up LeChuck ¿by G.T? (Dont know if its better with or without the by)
*Walkthrough - Thimbleweedpark
*Walkthrough - Myst
*Great Shipwrecks of Our Century
*Avoiding Plagiarism by Gustavo Cordera (Can be any famous plagiarist)
*If I Made Another Monkey Island by Ron Gilbert (Fuck 35 characters limit)
*Computers arent that bad by Skynet
*Fifty shades of Mercedes Colomar
The Necrotelicomnicon
Ode to Edna by Dr. Fred
Hidden messages in Tentacle Porn
Grammar for Astral Plane Trips
Afterlife - Traveler Handbook
Help! I was turned into a book
"1001 Arabian Murder Mysteries"
"Necronomicon Ex Mortis Vol. II"
"Magical Paths to Fortune and Power" (Taken from Ray's Occult book store from the Ghostbusters movie)
"Guide to Romantic Interspiritual Relationships with Class 3 Entities"
"Who're you gonna call?" by Dr Vangman
"Baphomets Curse - a history about broken blades"
"Steadycam Guide to witchhunting documentaries"
"Ghosthunting: stategies and bait"
"Crime Scene Coloring Books: Sad Puppies Edition"
"The Silent Hills of Thimbleweed Park"
"It's not easy, being a Witch"
"Voodoo Ladies Guide to Previously owned Bones - by Stan"
64 shades of glowing green
Finding magic meteors by F. E.
How I killed LeChuck by G.T.
Game of Bones
Bloodmagic and Pentagrams
A warlock guide to demon pets
Vegan food for your Felhunter
Why you should never pay more than 30$ for a retro adventure game (yes its too long i know ;)
Yes I know, XD I just had to add one more. Sorry.
Monster: The Subtitle
The Big Book of Spells
Occult Lore for the Soul
Summoning Lesser Demons for Pennies
Magical Mensch by H. Pocustein
50 Ways to Levitate Your Lover
Successful Seance by I.M. Death
Investigating for Dummies
Book of Real Actual Spiders
Sexy Draculas
Help I am Trapped Inside This Book
01001000011001010110110001101100
Tarantula Spells
"Programming Voodoo" by R. Gilbert
Alternatively, you can pickup some from the MI2 library I bet.
(It is anachronic because the hologram theory is from 1990s, but, who knows what strange books one can find in a place like that)
Parser Programming by K. Williams
1001 Cocktail Recipes
C++ Unleashed
How to empty your dreamcatcher
Recycling guide: turn waste into gold
The memoirs of a reptilian
Chupacabra: "suck on this"
500 Totally Useless Spells
Killing Zombies With Plants
Drawing Pentagrams, vol. 36
Living Without a Head
I'll post more later if I come up with some...
Tarot Cards and Carrot Tarts
The Corpse Whisperer
Free Souls and Other Bargains
He Jinxed My Pussy I Broke his Wand
Mummies for Dummies
Cursing Without Profanity
Why Magic Needs a Stupid Hat
insulating summoning circles
Snakes by H.Jones
- "Voodoo cookbook" from Monkey Island 2 (I don't know if this is the correct title as I only played the german version of the game)
- "The Necronomicon" from The Club Dumas / Cthulhu Mythos
- "Aleister Crowley - A Biography"
- "The Zombie Survival Guide" (real book by Max Brooks)
- "The Mojo Collection" (Actually a book about music, but the title fits)
"Cthuhlu Dictionary for the spelling impaired"
"10 best levitation lines"
"Big girls DO scry"
"To REALLY kill a mockingbird"
"Eye of Newt and other homebrews"
"Aether Alcoholics Anonymous"
"Numerology over Denominology"
"Sell your soul to Santa"
"Divination and Multiplication"
"There's no can't in Incantation"
"HooDoo that Vodou that you do?"
"Binary, Octal, & Decimal for Hexers"
"New Age for the new age"
"Toddler's Temper Tantras"
"Wicca Basket Weaving for Dummies"
Grail Dairy - H. Jones
How to Repair the Library Stairs
Exorcism vol 42: Ghost Pirates
Exorcism vol 43: Root Beer
A trilogy without part 3 - Ron G.
Reversing Palindrom Spells - Robbin
Alternatives to Voodoo - D. Vader
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Pet Sematary the Manual - S. King
How Séances Work - Bill and Ted
32 Shades of Gray - Limits of OCS
Voodoo Spell Checker
The Ring: VHS tape included
How to Voodoo - 3dfx
Recipes: Grog XD
The Color of the Tree - H. T.
Witchcraft: Colored Christals
The Answer: 42
Init DOOM refresh Daemon [......]
X Marks the Spot: A T-Shirt Guide
Rare Plants: Voodoo Antiroot
Jinx on Demand: Black Pages
This book will crash your PC!
How to kill a carnivorous plant
Mummies for dummies
Pick up lines for the undead
How to write an Adventure Book
Sea Ship Enterprise: The first pox
The story of Guynush Treftwoop
"101 Recipes for Cryptid Meat"
Crowdsourcing the Spirit Realm
Nobody Likes Child Sorcerers
Cleaning Ectoplasm
Necromancy Pranks
Boo!: Theatre Criticism for Ghosts
Am I Cool-Weird or Just Kinda Gross
The Velcronomicon
Is My Chair Haunted or Just Squeaky
Strong Encryption for Ouija Boards
Paranormal Event Report Almanac XVI
Magic/Religion Compatibility Matrix
Exploding Things With Your Mind
The Ethics of Exorcism
Past Lives: Graverobbing Yourself
Haunt City: A Ghostpunk Novel
Dating Supernatural Beings
360° Headspins & More Extreme Yoga
Using Levitation to Fix Subsidence
GleamCo Crystal Ball User's Manual
Beyond the Grail: 26 Powerful Cups
1,001 Slurs for Non-Magical People
Pointy Hat Catalog
"I Want To Believe - Or Do I?" By Midnight Shaman
"How To Walk Like a Human in Three Easy Steps" by A.E. Leons
"Talk To The Hand - The 3rd Ear"
"Bookcase Owner's Manual - IKEA"
"10 Things to do Just Before you Die"
"How To Run a Phone Company"
Bermuda Triangle: How to Get Lost
Ghostwriting: How to abuse backers
Reanimation for Dummies - Largo
The way to lower a pentagram: 666
Why there is Ammo in Hell
Black Magic. Also Avail. in Green
CUT! CUT! CUT! by Ron Gilbert
How to Get Ahead in Navigating
Outwitting Death by GNU Pratchett
(see http://www.gnuterrypratchett.com/)
Chicken Sacrifice for the Soul
Junior Witches Encyclopedia of Northwest Bats
Twelve Pentagrams and One Square
Happiness is a Warm Spell
On Demons and Devilry, A Comedic Romp
How to Pick Up a Succubus
Seven Jokes to Tell the Devil
Darkness, Death, and Taxes
The Long Road to the Transmundane
Gold to Lead, the Untold Story
Future Unlocked, Everyday Time Travel Techniques
Book of Slight Gloom
Alternative Sources, A Grimoire
Wall Street RPG, a D20 Game
A to Z of Athames
Ritual and You
Where to Find David Blaine at Any Given Moment
Gateway to Dinosaur Times
Popular Spells
Unpopular Spells, Hipster Edition
Untold Histories
Forgotten Rhymes
The Mystery of Doctor Who Writing
Dream Through the Ages
Power Through Dreaming
Dream Wandering
How To Tell If Your Partner Is Dream Wandering
The Source of All Weevils
Jesus the Witch, The Untold Story
Beyond the Veil
Truth of the Soul
Killing immortal boredom
Bigfoot shoes - by Nike
It takes a village to raise the dead
How I met your mothership
Crossword puzzles - by Jesus
Electric chairs - by IKEA
Dr. Acula cures leukemia
Funniest eulogies - by Mattias L T Cedervall
Reincarnation for the undead
Noodle recipes for Dragon Warriors
Karaoke backwards
Format your karma
Necrophile's lost files
Ouija skateboard
Talk to the dead BEFORE you kill them
13 Vs. 666
Autopsies and picnics
Hallowieners
A Guide to Vegan Voodoo
I Want to Believe by F. Mulder
I Want to Believe, but... by D.S.
Build a Monster by Dr. F. N. Stein
Vampires Sparkle? by Dr. A. Cula
Was there a Fifth Horseman?
The Curse of the Weremummy 2: Electric Boogaloo (fiction)
How to write how to-books
Hand/Eye Reorganization
Making Old Bones: Crafting 101
(or Morgue)
It's Alive! Reanimating Made Easy
Trending Remedies for Death by Snu Snu
New Testament by Jesus
My Testament by Ted
Root your Android - a Zombies Guide
Choosing an ISP for the Afterlife
13 Habits of Highly Effective Zombies
The Art of Being Immortal
Death is not a Problem to be Solved
100 Best iCult Apps
How to Control People (You know. Cuz, that's what you do when you play a video game. You control people. Get it? Give it a minute.)
Exploded Hamsters and Their Uses
Uses for Pond Scumm in Witchcraft
Chewy Caramel Center Control
Wicca Wonder Workers
Wizard, Warlock: What's the Diff?
Brighten Your Home with Dark Arts
Razing Your Squib (Holey moley, did I come up with that pun?!?! Wow I'm awesome!!! :D )
Intro to Wicca - The Sun, The Moon, and You
101 More Uses For Eye of Newt
Dead And Loving It
The Corpses of Corpus Christi
Voodoo That You Can Do
21 Spells Anyone Can Cast
Surviving Your First Stake Burning
Hazards of Witchcraft
A Light Approach to the Dark Arts
I'm A Zombie: The Teenage Years
Possession is not 9/10ths of the law
Ouija For Skeptics
Head Shrinking For Boneheads
Craft Brew for Witches
1) Hypnophone-one ring to rule them all
2)Han goes solo-the Voodookie-Breakup
3)Voodoo it yourself
OK, Number 3 must have been mentioned before - havn't read all (fantastic, of course) previous entries...
"How to find a book" by Dijkstra
"SCUMM for Dummies" by Dummies
1) Hypnophone-one ring to rule them all
2)Han goes solo-the Voodookie-Breakup
3)Voodoo it yourself
OK, Number 3 must have been mentioned before - havn't read all (fantastic, of course) previous entries...
(Ah! Got gravatar running. Amazing modern times.)
Zanni - Live at the Necropolis
New Age - Same as the Old Age
Day of the Pentacle
Wicca, the Evil Ewok
Scientology Errata
Queries for Oracles
Stoneship
Terahnee
etc.
Eating Gilbert Grape
Malleus Cimexarum
Quaerere Daemonium Lenimentus by Bruce Clay
Machina Computatio et Intelligentia by Alan Turing
Unum Volavit Super a Cuculus Nidum by Milos Forman
VHS: A CIA Mind Control Device
Maps to fake islands
Water Fluoridation: a Commie Plot
Marijuana-use leads to Nazism
Camelot - Rise of the New World Order
Men In Black - UFO servants
Apollo 11 FAKED: Moon dosen't exist!
The Interweb - SATAN'S invention!
Santa Claus: Unchristian and Communist!
Zombie Clowns - A Guide
Cyborg-Mummies: Fact or Fiction?
Timetravellers guide, 1523 bc
The Book of Known Secrets
The Round Pyramids of Poland
Werevampires: Fact or Fiction?
Garlicsaleman's guide to Transylvania
How to Spot Alien Vampire Clowns
MK-ULTRA and other CIA food-chains
- The Bileble
- Goodnight Moon, Sun, and Planets
- What Color is Your Parasite?
- Eat, Pray, Love, Summon
- Pccult - Qccult
- Ghroth, Interrupted
- Eats, Shoots & Devours Souls
- Paganomics: Trickle-Down Heresy
- Dark Cuddles
- Ulthar? I Hardly Knew 'Er!
- Great Food Fast by Martha Stewart
On Simulacrum Piracy
Encyclopedia of Gargoyles & Robots
Call of Cthulhu: Best Practices
Teach Yourself Numerology in 7 days
Planetics by L.Ron Howard
Grow a Moustache by G. Gurdjieff
Little Riding Red Book by C. Jung
De Expressionis Regularis
Dependency Charts and the Kabbalah
Voodoo in 24 hrs
How to talk like a Pirrrate
11) 7 Habits of Highly Infected People
12) Are You My Mummy? By Dr. Zeuss
13) Sulphur's Choice
14) I Was a Teenage Muggle
15) Soylent Spring
16) The South Leech Diet
17) Who's Eating Gilbert Grape?
18) The Joy of Cooking People
19) Bloodletting Go
20) Eye of Newt and Other Dieting Myths
1) I'll be back-guide to undead actors
2) the parrot is not dead - pet seances
3)Never Happend-Foretelling no future
(popular demand based iDemocracy™)
Come on people! This isn't a brainstorm.
Try to at least have some self criticism and ask yourself "is this up to the standards that these guys are known for".
Don't just write anything that pops into your mind.
Almost everything seems to be highly derivative (as in a variation of something heard before), incredibly lame or having to do with programming languages.
And yes, this *is* pretty hard.
That is why A: You are not Ron Gilbert B: He asks for your help.
Having to sift through all the suggestions as it is now ends up being almost as much work for Ron, as just doing them all himself.
I'd take back some of the alarming crap I posted just a few minutes before (mildly funny isn't funny enough). It's the curse of adrenaline and easy to use comment functions....
At least you prevented me from suggesting:
7)petagrams-geometry with animals
Well, if you think that you can do much better, we're all eager to hear your suggestions.
Summoner's Guide 2: Unsummoning
if that won't fit
Bash-based Fortune Telling
Quick Erase of Fortune Cookies
Anonymity for Gods: The Thor Case
Uninterruptible Power Supplies by A. Hilter
- How to Train Your Golem
- 50 Slightly Different Shades of Darkness
- How To Fight Like a Zombie Cow
- Vampire Hunting for Idiots
- The ABCs of Spelling
- 101 Recipes for Vegan Vampires
- Hair Fashion Style Guide for Lycanthropes
- I Have No Brain and I Must Eat - Recipes for Zombies
- Tentacle Busters
- Teenage Mutant Ouija Hurdles
- The Secret of Zombie Island 3 - Now It's for Real
- Maps for Haunted Libraries
- Life is a Simulation - Conspirancies
- DIY - How to Build a Haunted House
- 1999 - The End is Nigh! It's Assured!
- Le Spook - Tales of Legendary Zombies, Ghost and Pirates
- Gone with the Curse
- The Citizen Ghost
- Doom Skull Raiders of the Crystal Temple of Atlantis
- Deja Vu - Black Cat -Deja Vu - Black Cat - Deja Vu - Black Cat
- Beetles' Juice - Voodoo Drink Recipes
- Spells for Making Videogames
- Multiverse and Multiprose
- DOS Master Race
- Help! My Computer is Haunted!
- Doppelganger by The Other
- Look Behind you! A Three Headed Alien!
- How to Curse by Foul-Mouthed Wizard
1) "Three Headed Monkey: Fact or Myth"
2) "1001 uses of GROG in VooDoo"
3) "Tentacle Reanimation by Dr. Fred"
Hope you like 'em, I couldn't avoid the Monkey Island/Maniac Mansion references (it's all your fault). Now hurry up with that game!
I propose a variant: The Secret Art of Italian Parking
The dark tribe behind Monkey Island.
LeChuck: A never ending story by LeChuck JR.
How To Spell Properly by Sesame St
Lovely Rituals by Paul.S.Dead
Soul Obligations by Robert Johnson
So You Want to Howl at the Moon
One Thousand and One Wights
Des Pudels Kern
Apocalyptic Hobby Horses
Seeing the Unseen
Unseeing What Has Been Seen
Brain Bleach - 99 Yummy Recipes
Too Many Ghouls by Wight Watchers
Jingle Hells - Obnoxious Music 101
Singing in the Brain - A Memoir
Grays Sports Almanac
Key to warlock
English-Tentacle dictionary
How to shoplift - by The Book Thief
The Dark Side of Nurse Edna
Teaching Kids to be Bad People [David Fox, please forgive me for this one! :-) ]
Inspire, Keep Inside, Quietly Die
When you are full of Emptiness
The Imperial March, by J. Caesar
Dogs and Cats are not men's Friends
21) The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo
22) Voodoo, Schmoodoo: A Critique
23) Beauty and the Beastmaster
24) My So-Called Afterlife
25) The Tastiest of the Mohicans
26) My Dinner Was Andre
27) Eat, Pray, Lobotomize
28) A Walk to Dismember
29) Of Spice and Men: A Cookbook
30) I'm Not Dead Yet! By Carrot Top
The book of patterns by M. Hetchel
Patriarchy has no place in Voodoo
Tin foil hats are Inluminati
Squares, 2 triangles... Inluminatis
Mysterious world wide sewer
Note that I write iNluminati for comedy purposes, in spanish (my 1st language) sounds good
Lost Nazi Colony of Lemuria.
How to Seduce Elaine Marley Using Dark Magic by Guybrush Threepwood
"Rat Soup for the Pirate Soul"
"Lemonhead Shmelonhead"
"To Worship Gary"
Occulation Celebration!
Voodoo Chicken by Colonel Sanders
How to make voodoo chicken
2). This one takes two books for the joke to make sense:
I). V++ for Dummies
II). D++ for Dummies
The Big Book on Exorcism
"99 Problems But a Witch Ain't One" by JZ
"When Vampires Didn't Suck: Before Twilight"
"Salt Circles for Dummies"
"Spell Check for Dummies"
"101 Substitutes for Eye of Newt"
"Fails of Avoiding Threefold"
"Adding the BAM to the Brew"
"Avoiding the Broom Closet"
"The Wiccapedia"
"Apparitions Anonymous"
"How to Deal With Hex Support"
"Hex Support Training Manual"
"The Hexbook from Hell"
This was so much fun ^^
Left at the altar by Sacrifice
Bite on this! by Zom.b.killer
Algebra for dummies by Braindead
I ain't got no body by Murray
Hex, grog, and voodoo spells
Playghoul December '86
One foot in the grave by Pegleg
How to train your zombie
Twisted sister by E.Eddison
Is that a wand in your pocket?
How to win at Tarot
Selling your soul by Stan
Hygiene for Zombies
How to lose a body in ten days
What color is the tree? by H.Toothroot
Not the druids you are looking for
The Joy of Hex: volume 2
ESP for beginners
Some of these maybe over 35 characters but if you use a thinner font like Monkey Island.
Exercising your Demons
Grays Sports Almanac: 1950-2000
666 Ways to Skin a Cat
#000000 Magic
What could be more occult than that?
Macbeth 2 - this time it's personal
The Design and Evolution of C++
Becoming One with Uranus
Numerology You Can Count On
Vegans Are From Vega
101 Quizzes for Divinators
Book of Prophecies (Revised Edition)
Beach ready with the ectoplasm diet
How to get fit without exorcising
A beginner's guide to Ouija chess
Witchdoctor Zhivago
Because we actually dont know whether Jack Tramel was CIA or not, or what the implications of the "C64" as you call it are!
And no I am not paranoid. It is very normal to be eating the glowing mushrooms beneath my bathtub!
I, Crowley
Are you there Satan? It's Aleister.
Crowley's Angels
"Biography of a Voodoo Lady"
Velvet Cloaks Winter '84 Collection
The Void: No Fly-Tipping
Occultism vs Hygiene
Attracting Molluscs
Immaculate Dungeons '85 Calendar
Saucy Spirit Encounters
Enchanting Your Aunt
"Penta" ghram crackers.
Fortune "teller" cookies.
Mood "onion" rings.
Horris scope "mouthwash"
"Three basic steps to any profession"
"Voodoo cooking with Rubberchickens"
"Voodoo Dolls; trough the needles eye"
"Taking care of your Chuck plant"
"Preserving a navigators head"
"22 stump jokes"
"Bringing back the Mojo"
How ro rip off by Kickstarter
How the Hex you get here
Tasty Sewer Soup Gas Recipe
C64 Programmer's Reference Manual
COBOL for Cabals
Tentacle Fetish by Tickle M Good
Cthulu Fried Chicken by HP Lovefood
Octal for Squids
Hayne's Impala Repair Manual
"Dr. Sam Beckett never returned home"
The other great mystery, by E.Brown
Dwarven Midgets: All The Facts
Loch Ness: Commie or Alien?
Jewish Samurais of Denmark
8th Century Norse Water Bottels
Warlock Rextahr or: why I stopped worrying and love the curse
Selling Your Soul for Profit or Pleasure
1000 Places To See After You Die
The Tea Leaf Reader's Companion
Twenty Trite Tarot Tricks
Voodoo Necronomics 101
Things Better Left Undead
Chicken Soup for the Wandering Soul
Pride and Poltergeists
Withering Heights
Agnosticism – Believe it or not
Clairvoyance at night – by Ray Ban
Classic cusses from Ank to Zlorfik
Eyewitness guide: Walpurgis Night
Healing with gems and nuclear power
Healing with gems and solar power
Helena Blavatsky for dummies
Jobs of the future: the seer
Jobs of the future: the shamen
Veggie Voodoo: Corn and corpses
Writing in runes, an Introduction
Witches: They float and burn
Ron Gilbert: Creator or Myth?
Secret Catacombs: Insert Disk 22
Oricalcum: The Myth of Beads
404: Book not found
Fun with Magic Bytes
Summon a Zombie: Guide to Linux
Pah-wraiths by Dukat
Astral Projection vs. Ventriloquy
Encryption for Dummies: 0x69
Hi-Fi: The #1 in Voodoo Gizmos
You'll notice how true the last one is, if you just do a Google image search on Voodoo Gizmos.
Necronanny: Devilry & Your Lil Devil
Ogres Worth Ogling
Starlight Express the Novelisation
Disintegrating Rita
Star Wars Episode X : Jediatrics
Ye Olde Booke o' Willies
Dynasty the Annual 1981
Guess I typed my e-mail incorrectly...
Satanism for chubbies
COMEFROM considered harmful
Math 666: How To Interpolate Spines
How I met your (Zombie) mother.
Scottish Clans 765 : The Och Cult
or
The Och Cult: Clans of Scotland
Laying Ley Lines by Layla Lines
Reincarnation Vol 3: Coming soon
Pocket guide to Summer Summoning
12 Taro recipes
Counting in Hex Vol 1-7
Big book of Zombie Survival Games
Rising from the grave as transgendered
Goats Blood by Taylor Swift
Oh Joy Hex Toy by Erika Moon
Sunstone by Stje*cough* Something
My Life With Hell by Kenno Arcane
Romantically Occultistic
667: The Atheist Apocalypse
The Art Of Fitting To 35 Characters
"Comic Seance: Typography with Blood"
Necronomicon
The art of hidding hidden books - The ninja book master
- "Fluoride: water conspiracy"
- "The meteor guardian angels"
- "The chainsaw gas spiritual quest"
- "The eternity of the tentacle"
- "Dr. Fred: control your brain"
- "Fifty shades of Edna"
- "Beyond Edna's infinite love"
- "The white crystal" (blue and yellow too of course)
- "The two-headed squirrel cult"
- "Annie & her artifacts"
- "Zlofrik: The mindbenders mythology"
- "Zombies: The Bush family"
- "Your clown guardian angels"
- "UFOs: The King`s diary"
Pandoras book covers by T. Toybox
There's lot of books, Jesus
These are not the books by Obi Wan
Neat meat eating plants
Lobotomize is a wise vice
Open a sweatshop in hell
Necro's Guide to Raising Children
Raising Children... from the Dead
Cutest Torture Devices
Zombie or Not Zombie?
I, Zombie
Cutethulu and Other Young Gods
All My Friends are Undead
Being Undead: A Beginner's Guide
Who Do Voodoo? You Do!
Ghostdusters: Clean Shriek
Littlest Pet Cemetery
My Lil' Zombie: Fiendship is Tragic
The Witchest: Assassins of Monarchs
The Fast Ghast who was Last
Crystals: Get Your Face To Mars
The Baskets of Easter Island
The Holographic RAM Disk
Sacred Grounds: Ancient Pourovers
Tragedy & Scope: Mystery of Closure
1987: 13 Years Until 1900
31) Your Mother and Other Demons
32) No Bones About It: A Blob's Story
33) Queer Eye For the Dead Guy
34) Two and a Half Minotaurs
35) Muffy the Vampire Humper
36) You Are Who You Eat, By J. Dahmer
37) Entrails: Diversify Your Portfolio
38) Macramé of the Dead
39) Dial M for Meteor
40) Fifty Shades of Gary, By Ron G.
A bun in the coven
I pity the ghoul by B.A.Baracas
The Boffo catalogue
Headology for beginners
A cat and a hat, witching for beginners
Fortifying unholy water the easy way
The dark side of the coffee pot
Cat summoning for wiches
How I Did It by Dr. Victor Frankenstein
Then, something new:
Acupuncture for Aching Aristocrats by Baron Samedi
3D-Printing Your First Pentacle
The Necronomnomnicon by Nyan C
Born Bombastic by Paracelsus
Owning Souls and Real Estate
Is this too cryptic? :D
The Art of Shrinking Heads
Stitching for Dummies - Ears'n'Toes
Inside Out - A Picture Book
How to Tame Your Voodoo Doll
A Survivor's Guide to Rotten Food
How to Alter Your Reflection
Telekinesis - Then and Now
Three-Minute Stories for Nightmares
Crafting Crazy Cult Cultures
Lead'n'Gold - Alchemy Explained
A Scrap Book for Shrunken Heads
Saving Taxes in Occult Businesses
Alchemy 102 - Expert Voices
A Primer of Occult Teddy Bears
Fortune Teller's Best
Incantation Songs (Piano'n'Vocal)
When I killed LeChuck by GT
Why I killed LeChuck by GT
Where I killed LeChuck by GT
When I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
Why I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
Where I killed LeChuck by GT (again)
Creating Zombies thru MMORPGs
Generic Humorous Book Title
Werehamsters- The Forgotten Were
Simple Spells for Simple People
by "Guy who thinks somebody is interested in his problems"
Not trying to be the party pooper - but - how can you deal with the sheer
amount of great book titles when it comes to the promised translations?
Boris Schneider and other translators will have a *very* hard time, I guess. :D
There's A LOT of titles here that are tied to English language, so there's lot of untranslatable stuff. I wouldn't even try to translate most of these. Even many of my own submissions work only in English.
BTW, I roughly counted the books in wireframe. There's about 1200 books in there :)
PS. I guessed wrong the seckrit question again, and I didn't guess correctly even the next one, which was one + one (what is the correct answer for that, btw? Google just showed me a picture of my phone), and then the page wouldn't load, so I lost the lengthy writing I did, which was incredible. It was funny, it had never seen before insights, it was touching, and frankly, it would have saved the world. But it's gone. Now I just post this.
> I wouldn't even try to translate most of these. Even many of my own submissions work only in English.
That's my point!
But I don't know if not translating them (or make up other great titles in the target language)
is an option, since the book that solves the puzzle will most probably have to be in the translated language.
That would be inconsistent and in particular a bit too easy, wouldn't it?
Unless there is a clever reason why all books are English books even in the translated version.
A viable option would be to have this sort of a blog post e.g. in Germany to gather titles that would work auf Deutsch. They don't have to be the same as English counterparts. I'm quite sure there would be lot of submissions, but not sure about the quality. Also, Terrible Toybox (Ron and Gary) would have to have a trusted partner to make sure none of the titles are not something they don't want it to be.
So there's not necessarily a direct connection between the book titles on the shelf and the one you're searching for...
On the other hand...
Maybe the translators (or Ron by proxy) start(s) threads for each language where native titles can be entered! :-)
This would cause me to spend even more time in the occult bookstore to scan the titles in all languages I'm able to read! :-)
And most of the really funny ones are funny on more than one level... Which is almost(?) impossible to translate...
and some actual books:
Musaeum Hermeticum
Daemonologie
The Revival of Magick
Liber AL vel Legis
The Confessions of Aleister Crowley
The Book of Ceremonial Magic
10 magical ways to upgade to Windows 10
Needlework for voodoo priests
Cordless phones: black magic?
TV Guide: white noise
Séance via telefax
Faxbook tips
The last one actually reminds me of something we actually did: Faxbook. We faxed Facebook page to some numbers and asked from comments. Good fun.
This is what I have to offer right now:
"The Pentagon: A Pentagram 2.0?"
"Pentagon vs Pentagram: A dispute"
"Satanic Art: Six-pointed Pentagrams"
"The Adventure of the Thimblewitch" (having a real book in the shelf might be a nice twist)
That is true. I deal with translations all the time, and German and Spanish are some of the most difficult what comes to length (and I have really struggled with translations from English to French, Dutch, Italian, Russian, Norwegian, Swedish, Finnish...) . They just don't fit in the space reserved for English text.
Sooooo... maybe we could have a narrower font, maybe?
'Secret Guide to Win Insult Fighting'
'MILFs and Mansions Ultimate Guide'
'How To Preserve Mummies'
'Hunk-O-Matic Instruction Book for Tentacles'
Bad Seed by Chuck the Plant
Smells like fish, tastes like chicken
The Rapture: Deal or no deal?
Living with ghosts
The big book of spells
The bigger book of spells
The biggest book of spells
Your wish is granted by Zoltar
Hut of brown, now sit down by b.yaga
Wargames, fact or fiction?
20 classic occult games for your C64
I think you should have stipulated that it's 1987. I personally would be hesitant to use any suggestion that made reference to an event post 1987.
however that goes in english
Soul Survivor
Oculus Rift
The Wolly Bibble
The Karma Sutra
The Life of Al Chemist
World of Witchcraft
Never-ever-ending Story
Dissecting Fairies : Errata
...and I know this is more than 35 chars, but the full title of that could be:
Hex Editors and Spell Checkers: The Devil's Power Tools
or
Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells Wit Flava
or
Wicca Wicca Wak: Rap Incantations
I know these are too long, but other possible variations:
Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells For the Gangsta Witch
Wicca Wicca Wak: Spells With a Hip-Hop Flava
Epilation with Hypnosis
Funny.
Monetizing the Apocalypse
Arcane Runesmanship, Volume III
Cult Following For More Fun
How to saw a seesaw in the sea
How to take a shower without scream
Nostalgia - handmade voodoo dolls
Just The Word "Blood" 8,000 Times
Pyramids: Sure, Why Not
Caring for Goblins
Effluvia: A Spellcaster's Guide
Inscrutable II: Ritualistic Habits
Inscrutable III: Muttering & Odor
Alchemy: The Ultimate Tax Loophole
Memento Mori Pop-Up Book
Grave Robbery: Atari ET cartridges
Decameron.... :) It sounds esoteric when truth is it is erotic :P
The Voynich manuscript
Create your own mummy for dummies.
On the mysteries of Egypt
The Heptameron
The Key of Solomon
Witchcraft today
The Alchemist's Handbook
Making Talismans
Build Your Own Pythagorean Cup
41) The Frog Prince of Bel-Air
42) My 25 All-Time Favorite Rashes
43) In Cold Blood: Lizard Serial Killers
44) Burn, Baby, Burn: A D.I.Y. Guide
45) Gender Stereotypes in Witchcraft
46) Arsenic: The Spice of Life
47) Fairy Dust: Our Children At Risk
48) The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt
49) 101 Things to Do When You're Dead
50) The Zen of Philately By E. Edison
For crying out loud, enough is enough! Take your puns and shove 'em, I quit!!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Books_in_the_Cthulhu_Mythos
Order of the Occult Hand Deathlist
Hanged, Drawn and Quarterly Digest
How to Overreact on a Cosmic Scale
Robe'n'Cloak Fashion Trends
Warding Off Smith's Invisible Hand
Gross Magic for Rude Wizards
The Gentrification of Hammerspace
Landing Book Deals with Witchcraft
Even I'm Sick of Zombies(I Am One)
Enhance-Your-Cackle Vocal Exercises
Taking Credit for Magnetism
I keep coming back much to often..
Until then:
Load "booktitle",8,1
Fifty shades of darkness
Where's spot?
Pentacles and tentacles
Witch and which: grammatical hell
Sex in non-euclidian dimensions
Video game design for the unholy
Venoms, by Platypus McSpur Jr.
"Xyzzy, And..." Incantation Improv
Hunting Jackalope & Leopardrechaun
holy fuck, there are too many good names to actually fit anywhere!
Gone with the Mortician
My Dead Lady
Bury Poppins
Math in the Afterlife
Number of the Yeast: Cheers Satan
Monocles and Monocycles
Puppeteering for Amputees
I Am Bat-meh
Black Cat Wrangling
101 More Hamster Tricks
Perhaps there could be a "books" section, and a "VHS (or Betamax) tapes" section of the library.... :)
Voodoo....."ring A bell"?
You've got the clock, we've got the time. By Voodoolady.
How to survive in Bat Country.
Macbeth Debunked
Choose your own adventure!
Fine Homes and Dungeons
D&D Starter Rules Set
From Outer Space by Jose Chung
Waterskiing by William B. Davis
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
A Warning to the Curious
The Poems of Edgar Allen Poe
Winchester Bible by Carver Edland
666 or 999? Math for Satanists
Conjouring Today
I help your Conjour
Where is Cthulhu - PG-6
Zombie 101 for Zombies
Witches' Brew Vegan
Cat Familiars How to stop the hair
Prophesy - How to Close The Case
Prophetic Crime Fighting
Boxes that matter by A. Turing
This is actual fun XD
#00FF00 - The Green Book
#0000FF - The Blue Book
But this should be more a "Title" like "How to kill Schrödingers cat finally" or "How to save Schrödingers cat from the undead". May be you make to book parts out of it...
https://youtu.be/zZ9dtZ8lYww
(Actor's name) would of course be replaced by the current actors name.
"Axe or Knife? A murder weapon guide"
"The Darkness"
If you click on it the screen will get darker.
"Please Free me!"
If you click on it Controls will be locked, your character will say something like "FINALLY I'M FREE" and your Test Script will be executed for 10 seconds or something (making it look like the character was posessed). Then the character says something like "Wow, that was weird..." and Controls are unlocked.
"Finally 113 - A Coming Of Age Novel"
How to Evil Eye by Henri Gamache
No hope in occultism by Murry Hope
Occult Queen Politics by John Dee
An introduction to Bohemian Grove
Find your inner Occultist
Craft your Holy Table
Hidden gems of Occultism
Poltergeists and Real Estate
Priest of Persia
Tentacles: The Arms Race
EGA: Enchanted Graphics Adapter
VGA: Voodoo Graphics Adapter
Ghouls ’n Ghosts
Night Shifts in Summertime by June Rota
Password Encryption by Kenny Logins
The Gastric Band - Their Biggest Hits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDW9b_ejfI
jodel dodl humpa pa...